What Is Self-Inquiry And How Does One Inquire?
“This place you are speaking about... I have glimpses of it but I get lost in the movement very quickly.”
This is where I point to the mind, drop all the ideas about silence, oneness, presence, Nirvana, and just come back to reality.
For the sake of this conversation, Reality is whatever is happening in the body right now. Which includes the 5 senses, sensations, momentary thoughts.
Just put the attention on reality, without elaborating more than what is moment by moment, and the rest will happen by itself.
You don't need trust to meet reality. This is the practical, ordinary, natural movement of life.
You are in movement with reality, in the appearance of form and name.
By being in reality, all the ideas start to dissolve, then you can experience that all is well. You have the ability to see things as they are, with the tools to meet the present moment.
When you see thoughts appear within consciousness;
An unconscious mind would claim, "this is me", "this is mine". A conscious mind would recognize that these thoughts don't belong to anyone, they appear and disappear within consciousness. You didn't choose them to arise and you didn't choose them to pass. You were omnipresent.
We can get lost in the thought instead of in the energy of inquiry.
It doesn't matter where the thought arose from. A thought appeared, and at that moment I have the ability to either believe it to be true or recognize that it's just a thought which appeared within consciousness.
Observing the waves of thought without giving them meaning, one will experience the ocean (True self).
Self inquiry arises to remind us to come back to being here.
Self inquiry is one simple question that awakens the intellect to recognize the aliveness within us. Who am I?
Everything that functions comes and goes, and I remain aware.
The process of awakening is to remember who we are.
How will it manifest and transform itself?
That is the nature of the milk - if you stir it consistently it will eventually become butter.
The nature of inquiry will inevitably slow down the process of thought until one can recognize the omnipresent space.
Through inquiry, our thoughts slow down, until we can directly experience the stillness, as an ordinary experience.
There is nothing to do with the doer or with the experiencer. It is a movie that is passing by. For a moment it appears to be real. Enjoy it with the recognition that it is a dream and it will also change with the direct experience of who I am.
Then it is complete. When we are present, there is no space for past or future thought identification. They appear naturally. Also thought changes constantly.
The mind is conditioned to focus on the thought. All one can see is the moment of change, called Dhuka. When I observe what is, I see that everything changes and is already in the past. It's over.
When I stay with the change as it changes, I see it as it is and then I can tap into this eternity moment.
The mind cannot recognize what it is with the form (body), as it covers the form with an image or name of who it believes it to be.
When we don't cover our true self with thought, then there is a direct recognition of who we are.
But because the mind isn’t conditioned to recognise it in the beginning, it overlooks it.
When the mind starts to put the attention on the whole instead of on the part, it will start to get the glimpse of it truly is; formless, changeless.
The mind works with the change by seeing it is a phantom. It appears to be real for a moment so all one can do is to catch the change and shift the attention to the recognition of who I am in the change. That is why when we go back to reality, to the body, the senses, then who we are is one with everything.
Although who I am is still covered with the “I” thought - 'what is'.
It is much easier to get a glimpse of who I am when the “I” thought disappears, which happens many times throughout the day.
Then, there is a direct experience of who I am, which I can't describe or name.
There is only recognition.
“What is the experience of recognition?”
When you drink water, how can you describe wet?
What is there to describe?
Will you be able to experience through the description of what wet is?
That is the closest I can get to describe recognition. It is beyond description.
There is a recognition of the space right now, but you cannot describe it, other than saying that it is between two objects.
Remind yourself how simple the movement is, as it is. This is where the movement is very useful when reality appears to be real for a moment.
There is no problem with reality because it is not mine or yours, it just appears like that, and then it passes away.
To recognize what is happening, does it matter to whom it is happening?
Recognize the thought as it is, and the action that followed.
It doesn’t really matter what the outcome would be, it will change.
We forgot to work with the change as it is. We will know what we need to do every moment when we start to let go of the control of the unknown (fear).
So the only responsibility we have is to be present with what is, as it is.
That is available to us all the time. Sometimes it works as we like and sometimes it doesn't.
We are creating many ideas and forget that they were only ideas.
So whatever action happens will feel right, not because it is based on a specific result, but because it is based on the current reality, the present moment.
I welcome all results, because it will always be 50-50.
When I look back at my past decisions, I can see that I could have done things differently, things that I will appreciate more the result. So what?
I realised that I can work with any result.
As I have 72% water in the body and I see how the water flows so effortlessly and naturally and adjust to whatever happens, so can I adapt and adjust to life.
When I see things as they are and recondition the mind to work with this moment, the result will either be good or bad, but it will be as it is and I will continue to adjust.
I don’t see myself observing the moment as it is and become lazy and apathetic, even though I don't follow what society thinks I should do.
We have this fear of letting go of the familiar and to live moment to moment.
The classic question is, who would I be without any idea right now?
Observe this moment fully.
Who would you be without any concept right now?
This is the aliveness that we keep overlooking. Just pay attention, like the predator follows his prey. I don't need to look for it, it's just there.
“How can I connect to this eternity moment?” I don’t know why people are searching for something they already have. They do. They create wars for that. I ignore who I am and I am looking for who I am not. This is called ignorance; I ignore who I am.
When I recognize who I am, I can peacefully be with who I am not. Why do I need to control the movie? I can sit and when I don’t feel like being part of the movie I close my eyes, ears, all the senses. Find the switch to shut down everything. One can go inward and disappear into the ocean of consciousness. When the mind is ready, it all comes out to inhalation - exhalation.
Doing is happening, thinking is happening, one is aware.
Just like the clock, 1, 1, 1, now, now, now.
“Who is taking care of the functioning of the body?”
When you need to work to take care of the rent, it looks like you need to work, right?
Is there any problem with that without the idea “I like, I don’t like, I should like”, etc.
You have the ability to take care of yourself even though you are not the doer and the experiencer. Just the condition is strong to say “I can't, it's not working, it's not part of the path, this is attachment”....
When you drop all these ideas and you just do it, you meditate. You are what you are in a meditative state.
You don't interfere with anything, this is what it is.
Even though you believe that you are the doer or the experiencer at that moment, there is no problem with that. You can continue to look at the clock moment by moment and still recognize that 10 minutes have passed.
Let's say you want to do something and then a thought comes 'I don't know'.
That's fine, do nothing at that moment. When there is clarity, it is clear.
There is a knowing without a doubt. Any action is over. Some actions bring more benefit, some less, it doesn't really matter. There is no real challenge with the simple and natural movement.
We are living on this basic fear - losing or not gaining and becoming paralyzed by it. That is because we overlook that there is nothing to lose or gain. There is only what is. we imagine. “What is clarity?”
What is as it is. This is true clarity. There is nothing to clarify.
When you don't need to go anywhere, you don't need to know the way. When you are always here, everything is passing, like sitting on the train while everything around you is moving. You don't need to move in order for things to move. Just be there, notice that you are not changing, the experience changes, the image changes, but you don't.
Resting is not an action, it's an observation.
“What about Passion in life?”
Passion is not excitement.
I don't have to feel excitement in order to experience passion. What I realised is that passion arises within me.
A thought arises, and then another thought says let's do it. You can recognize that things are happening, and you are aware of them. You don't really need to analyse it or go deep into it.
It simply is.
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