I want to share with you what I came to realize from the pandemic regarding humanity, myself included.
I found this time to be very interesting because it showed me how conditioned I am.
It showed me that ever since I was born, society has conditioned me to perceive life in a particular way.
When I say society, I'm talking about my parents, teachers, friends, myself. The system itself.
I found one particular weakness in this pandemic, which is,
Our inability to adapt to reality.
As long as I know what is going to happen,
as long as I have some previous experience or knowledge to deal with what is happening,
I feel fine, secure, calm.
But at a time when there is a lot of uncertainty, not knowing how this situation will affect my life, which means my sensations (pleasure and pain), stress starts to arise within me.
That is very normal because I am a conditioned being.
I was unconsciously trained to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances, without questioning.
The way I respond to life is made by conditioned thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and reasonings.
Which turns out to be very limiting in the face of an unfamiliar situation, such as COVID-19.
I cannot meet a new situation from a clear and centered position when I am conditioned.
I have to drag the past along with me and make assumptions for the future.
That can become a misfortune when reality fails to meet these assumptions, thus creates more fear and distress in me and in society.
Once I acknowledge that I am a conditioned being, I can be aware and choose differently.
I will start asking myself questions such as,
Is it helpful for me to react the way I do?
Is it healthy for me to resist what is happening?
Is it supporting me to go to the past and compare it with the present moment?
then project it to the future and argue with it when it fails to meet my expectations?
How can I deal with this unknown situation? And adapt to it?
This questioning leads me to see that because I am a conditioned being and I resist to what is, I experience a lot of discomfort in my body- pain, anger, frustration, fear.
It leads me to see how conditioned I am to pleasure.
When I experience pleasure in my body, it is easier for me to connect to who I am, to my personality. to love.
But the moment I experience some discomfort in my body, it makes me feel separated from who I am.
Then, impatience arises within me, frustration, distress, and agony.
By resisting what is, I escape to the memory of the pleasure I am longing for, and I argue with this new situation and the feelings I have about it.
“What's wrong with me? What's wrong with the universe?”
So if I have to summarise COVID-19,
It is a situation that we were not conditioned to, and now we have to reevaluate and recondition ourselves to the new situation.
and because we are conditioned beings, it is a challenge for us to do so.
We have to realize by ourselves that we are conditioned beings. It is a self-discovery.
If you think that you're not conditioned, wait until you lose something you have or don't get something that you want.
Then you will see how much resistance, anger, and frustration arise within you.
That is what I call conditioning.
How do I work with the new situation?
By acknowledging my conditioning.
When I think, ''I wish it were the way it was or different from the way it is'',
I see that my conditioning is to seek pleasure, security, comfort, appreciation, love.
I'm not going to change anything by acknowledging this fact.
I just want to discover in this new situation how to connect and not separate myself from reality. Myself from my feelings.
Or simply acknowledge, "I am separating myself from the situation".
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