”How could I have chosen this path for so many years?’’
A path of guilt, blame, justification,
Defence, proving, competition,
Being the victim?
"How did I do it to myself?
What did I get from it?
What was the use of it?”
When you will awaken to this simple realization, you will begin to experience time and time again that you are not getting any benefit out of it, and you will become aware of your mind mechanism - simply as it is.
This will naturally generate change, because there is no more covering- everything is clear. There is room for honesty, recognition and acknowledgement.
As long as you are not fully aware of your own mind mechanism, which is expressed through your thoughts, feelings and behaviour,
As long as you are not aware of the cause and effect of your actions, and you don’t start asking essential life questions such as "why do I do what I do?" and "what is the purpose of it?"…
There can be no change.
Even if change seems to happen, it does not come from deep insight and a conscious state. This is why it will only be temporary and not really revolutionary to your life.
Any conscious change one makes in a particular area begins to affect and make a change in all other areas of life that you have not been aware of or repressed for years.
So maybe you have had enough of this kind of life, and it’s time for something else?